Before I was a Mom

A friend sent this to me earlier this week with a note telling me that I am an awesome mom. I don't know how "awesome" I am...some days it certainly doesn't feel like it, but I do know being Grace's mom is the best thing in my life. Last week I was thinking, "why didn't I do this sooner?" but then I realized I couldn't have. Because it had to be now - because it had to be Grace. There is no doubt she is my daughter and we were meant to be together.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys or learned words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots. Or draw blood.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't understand that bond between a mother and her child from the mother's side.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Today, March 6th, is our "Gotcha Day". The day we officially became a family forever. Here is a quick look back at our 2008 Gotcha Trip and the arrival home: