Kick up your heels!

This February was the 2nd snowiest one on record for our area. Now that it is March, some warmer weather and SUNSHINE finally arrived! We went outside and spent a long time playing on the deck.

I pushed Grace so many times on her swing
that I think I got an arm workout!

She was excited to check out her playhouse after the winter.The house was fine but her play food and plates were frozen in ice!

When you least expect it

I had been trying to figure out what to do with Grace for our Forever Family Day. I wanted to make the day special and about being together without making it a party or too much like a birthday with balloons and presents. But I couldn't really figure out what I wanted to do. Then, when I least expected it, the answer came to me.

On Monday, my friend Margo brought me a surprise. It was my birthday, but she didn't share this gift with me for that occasion. Instead, she came across something that was special to her sons when they were little and when she found it in her house, she thought of Grace and me. It turns out, this was the perfect thing to share with Grace on the anniversary of her homecoming.

Margo gave me a signed copy of a children's book called Is this a House for Hermit Crab? by Megan McDonald. In the book, the hermit crab searches the seashore for a new shell that "fits just right". It is a cute story that is perfect to share with Grace - the little girl who is a perfect fit for me! Home for me, is wherever she is and I hope she feels the same way.

So, without really knowing it, Margo gave me the most wonderful gift to share with Grace on our special day. And, I think she started a tradition for me to find a special book to share with her each year on March 6th.

Grace took her new book out to the playhouse for "circle time"!

Forever Family Day

Today is the day we celebrate becoming a family.

March 6th 2 years ago (click to see that post) was the day I finally held Grace and knew that we would not be separated again.

Grace on March 6, 2008

In some adoption circles, this day is known as "Gotcha Day" but in the last two years I have learned how some people (especially some adults who were adopted as children) do not like that term because it seems to devalue the child's first family and may not consider the loss a child has gone through in the adoption process. Fine with me. I prefer to think about and celebrate becoming a "forever family". To clarify, March 6, 2008 was not the day Grace was separated from her biological mother. That happened on the day she was born. I am forever grateful to Consuelo for creating a plan that allowed Grace to have a family and the potential at a better life than she was able to provide. Celebrating Forever Family Day with Grace is not directly related to the loss of her biological mother. Rather, it is the day she said goodbye to the foster family that raised her for 5 months (she had been in two different foster homes in the 9 month time time we were waiting for her to come home). I don't really know if she remembers them or the time she spent with their family in Guatemala. I am also grateful to Lucci and her family for providing Grace with a temporary home, love, and stability. There is no doubt that the love they gave her during those months allowed her to be able to trust and love today. One wonders what a 9-month old baby knows and remembers. There are many children who suffer from loss and attachment issues due to huge transitions and experiences of loss so early in life. I am lucky that, so far, Grace has not shown sign of any detrimental effects from these separations. Maybe some day, as she learns her history, we will be faced with these issues. If that time comes, I will do my best to help her through it, as I will with every other challenge she encounters as she grows up. Because I am her mother. Forever.

So, today, we celebrate.......forever.

Social Story

You've heard of B.C., right? As in 500B.C. - before Christ? Well, my life has become a series of things I used to do B.G. - Before Grace. As in, "I used to run, B.G." and "I used to teach Spinning, B.G." and "I used to go shopping, take naps, and travel, B.G." You get the idea.

Crawling under the pool table.

Don't get me wrong. I have an amazing little girl in my life who has opened up a whole world that was nonexistent before. But, lately I have been reminding myself that this is a marathon not a sprint and it is okay if I do some things for myself. One of those things is going back to the gym. On Feb. 11th, I started going to the gym. To do this consistently, I chose a place that is family-friendly, close to home and work, and enlisted Kyle's help with Grace some of the time. You see, the gym has child care and kids can be in there for up to 2 1/2 hours at a time. For me to attend a Spinning or Step/Bosu class Grace has to go to the playroom or stay with Kyle. The first few times it worked out great. She went right in and I was able to get an hour of exercise relatively guilt free. But last night we hit a wall. She cried so much that she made herself vomit. And I was pretty sick, too, when I made the tough-love decision that leaving at that point would only teach her that if she cries enough, she will get her way. It took a lot of strength to calm her down, clean her up, and hand her over to the childcare workers when she was so clearly upset. But I did it and (for the record) I stressed about it for the entire workout.

So, tonight I took a page from my teaching experience after being reminded of this strategy from my friend Aimee. At school we use picture schedules and social stories with some students who have limited vocabulary, don't do well with change/new situations, or who need reinforcement about events in their day. Over dinner tonight, Grace and I created a short story together about going to the gym. I started telling and writing the story and we talked about the gym even though it wasn't a "gym night". After she went to bed, I typed it on the computer and added some clipart to make it look like a real book.

Front cover and some pages from the book

My goal is to read the book to her a few times tomorrow before we go and maybe allow her to take it with her to the Kids' Klub for the staff to read if she needs to be reminded that I am coming back. If it works, we might just laminate it and take it with us every time!

I am also considering having her bring a comfort object or a DVD. I noticed another little girl brought her stuffed animal last night, so we might do something like that. Another strategy I am tossing around is some sort of sticker chart and a timer, where the child care workers can give her a sticker every 10 minutes and when the page is full that means I am coming back. I am open to any other ideas, so please share!

When did she get so big?

Grace's school pictures were delivered today. Seriously, when did she get so big?It is so cute how Grace can name all the kids in her class. It isn't a surprise. After all, she spends all day with these friends, but it is just so funny that she knows their names and I don't!

Back row: Miss Kathi, Miss Chris

Second Row: Frederick, Mathieu, Josh, Maddie, Noah, Marayyh
Front row: Michael, Trey, Genevieve, Grace, Daniel, Maggie

Does that make us groupies?

For the second year in a row, we went to see Elmo Live (with Kellie and Dawson, of course!). Like last year, the Sesame Street characters did not disappoint as they danced and sang their way across the stage to the delight of hundreds of children in the audience.This year, the show was entitled Elmo's Green Thumb. The story was about Elmo finding the perfect place to plant a sunflower he had grown from a seed and was now too big for its pot. In true Abby Cadabby style, she mixed up the words to a magic spell and instead of making the flower bigger, she made almost all the Sesame Street characters small! As tiny creatures, they learned to appreciate the insects, soil, water, and sunshine you find in a garden. The message was good, but it was probably lost on many of the kids. Still, I know Grace loved the music and a couple of times told me she had to get up and dance. She wasn't the only one...there were tons of toddlers in the aisles wiggling to the tunes.

So, going to see Elmo and his buddies two years in a row....do you think that makes us groupies?

Before we left for the show,

Grace showed me Elmo outside on the deck.

It looks cold, but we have had "warmer" weather (mid-30s)
and sunshine the last few days. It almost feels like spring!

Good, clean fun

Yesterday, Grace had her first experience with shaving cream. When I taught first-graders (back in the day) sometimes I used to let them use shaving cream on their desks to practice their letters and simple spelling words. It is a great activity for sensory and fine and gross motor development. So I bought some for Grace this week and let her experiment. Update to answer Aimee's question in the Comments section: Our kitchen table is glass, so I didn't have to put anything on it to protect it. But I have heard other people use a plastic table cloth (like the ones you get for parties) and then just fold it up and put it in the garbage. That would make clean up easy!

At first she was hesitant and I had to put my own hands in it to show her that it was okay to touch. It didn't take long after that for Grace to get her hands full of it!Since Grace was fully occupied, I got to play with my camera a little and experiment with the focus. Notice it is on Grace here...and on her hands here.She didn't know the shaving cream was on her nose, ......but she certainly, deliberately, put it all over her arms, clothes, neck and chest! It must have felt good on her skin.We went right into the bathroom for a bath after this!(Grace's hair is pulled back in a "pony" because we had just come back from the pool at the health club!)

S is for Snow

Grace has been working on learning her letters - G is for Grace, M is for Mommy, etc. You get the idea. So today it was S is for Snow!The sun was out and it wasn't too cold so we went outside to take advantage of the big snowfall we had on Friday night. The snow wasn't wet and sticky enough for making a snowman and it was too deep for sledding, so we just played.Daisy had a great time running around, too. She has been so good lately, staying near us and coming when she is called.Kyle and Grace (well, mostly Kyle) dug a cave/igloo/fort. It started out like this,and then he made it pretty deep into the snow piled up from shoveling the driveway.

Funny girl

Just playing one evening this week after school....

Can you see the beginning frustration on her face

as she tried to untangle her necklaces?

Watching Grace work through the problem was very interesting.
I offered help right before the whole endeavor ended in a fit.

Grace likes to wear her sunglasses....upside down!

She was very proud when she discovered this style
and I told her all the cool girls wear their glasses like that.
(Does she have any idea what "cool" is?)

And just to make you laugh...

Kyle was looking at cars on the computer that is located the living room. Grace, who was sitting on couch playing with her toy cars, looked over her shoulder and said, "That my favorite car." The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Kyle: "Oh yeah. Why do you like it?"
Grace: "Like the color. I want that one."
Kyle: "What will you do with it?"
Grace: "I get the keys and drive it!"

Funny girl....maybe in 16 years!